hotel room ftw
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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