after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Just invented taco cereal.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
