I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
