Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Randomize
