i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today