She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.