Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.