I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
These Dirty People Havenâ€™t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.