I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Randomize
