she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
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It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
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Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
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