So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
