I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
