Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
pop tarts are not kleenex
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
