the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
