her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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