id be glad to
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
