i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
