i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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