I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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