Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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