I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
