Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
he shaved USA in his pubs
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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