You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
