remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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