Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Are my feet made of real feet?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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