6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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