3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
