So drunk its hurt
I'm really into asian looking animals
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
