Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
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