I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
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I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
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When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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