Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize