i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
