peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
