If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
