I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
