Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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