YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
