She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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