ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
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If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
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I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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