I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
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