marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
