I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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