dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
