Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize