I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
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