this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Enjoy the penises
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
