I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
