Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
