i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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