Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
