you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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