I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
