its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
