Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
