don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
