her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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