Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
