Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
