Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Sex in the backyard? Check.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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