he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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