Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize