I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
