There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
