it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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