Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
