I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
