If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
