I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
