Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
