cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I am spending my child support on dildos
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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