and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
