I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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